Commentary, Opinion

My Sister’s Place shares warning signs of abusive relationship and how to safely leave

September 24, 2026   ·   0 Comments

What is a red flag? Red flags are warning signs or behaviours that indicate a person may be experiencing or at risk of experiencing abuse. 

A red flag is any behaviour, pattern, or action that signals potential abuse in a relationship. Warning signs aren’t always obvious and can show up gradually, often disguised as affection, concern, or normal relationship behaviour. 

Recognizing red flags early can help individuals protect themselves and seek support before abuse escalates.

Abuse can take many forms — emotional, physical, sexual, psychological, or financial.

Some common red flags include:

• Rapid progression in a relationship: Pressure to move quickly, commit immediately, or ignore personal boundaries.
• Jealousy and/or isolation from their friends, family or other supports.
• Having to account for activities and time. Constant monitoring, accusations of infidelity, or controlling behaviour regarding whereabouts and interactions.
• Excessive affection or love-bombing: Over-the-top displays of romance or gifts early in the relationship, which can mask controlling tendencies.
• Disrespecting boundaries: Ignoring “no,” mocking limits, or pressure to comply with unwanted actions.
• Mood swings and anger: Frequent temper outbursts, unpredictable behaviour, or cruelty toward animals or children. Uses threats, threatening body language, name-calling, and/or insults. Become angry if they feel their expectations are not met.
• Blame and manipulation: Making the victim feel responsible for the abuser’s behaviour, using guilt, threats, or intimidation. Controls all aspects of life and manipulates your actions. Alternates controlling behaviour with periods of needing comfort and/or placating. Uses children to manipulate and control actions.
• Destruction of personal property: Damaging belongings as a form of punishment or control.
• Uses harassing behaviour at home or at work (ex: constant phone calls), stalking, constant criticism, verbally or emotionally abusive, physically or sexually abusive.
• Has financial control.

According to Statistics Canada, women are at the highest risk of increased violence or murder during the time just before or after leaving an abusive relationship. 

This period is critical, as women are nine times more likely to be murdered by an intimate partner than by a stranger. Domestic abuse remains an immensely under-reported crime, with just 25 per cent of domestic violence incidents reported to authorities. 

The costs associated with physical and sexual violence against women in Canada total over $4.2 billion each year, including medical fees, police services, social agencies, income assistance, unemployment, the justice system, educational support, and temporary housing.

Whether or not you’re ready to leave an abuser, there are things that can be done to protect yourself.  Do not underestimate your partner. They often get a sense that you may be leaving. Have an escape plan. Prepare for an emergency.

Phones and computers keep records of usage, so be familiar with what information is being saved. If you are not able to keep your usage from your partner, then do not use devices that your partner has access to. Use a phone or computer at a friend’s home, work, a public library, or out in the community to get information and help.

Every web browser keeps a record of websites you have visited. 

• Delete “Cookies” or “Temporary Internet Files”.
• Delete Browsing History.
• Do not favourite any websites.
• Do not forget to close all of the windows you have open in your browser.
• Do not forget to log out of all areas that require a password, such as email, bank account, and social media.

When you contact us or any organization assisting women in danger, be careful to use a telephone that does not keep a record of the number you called.

If you notice red flags in your relationship and are considering leaving, you may want to put together a go bag.

Documents to pack;

• ID (Driver’s license, passport, SIN card, Birth certificate)
• Legal paperwork (protection orders, custody orders, marriage/divorce papers)
• Health documents (Health cards, insurance cards, medical records, immunization records)
• Car title, registration & insurance documents
• Proof of cohabitation (to apply for RGI housing)

Sometimes it is difficult to remove physical copies of paperwork; in this case, make photocopies to place in the go bag.

Important items to pack;

• Medication
• Inhalers
• Spare set of keys
• Cell phone charger, prepaid cell phone
• Important phone numbers (doctor, lawyer, family)
• Cash & prepaid credit card
• A few days’ worth of clothing for yourself & your children
• Favourite toys, stuffies & movies
• Small keepsakes & family pictures

Once packed, hide the bag somewhere accessible but safe, like your car (if it is not shared with your partner) or with a trusted friend or family member.

Helping to protect yourself from abuse involves recognizing the signs, creating a safety plan, seeking support, and knowing your rights and resources.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse or violence, call My Sister’s Place any time for information or safety planning at 705-435-3835.

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